I'm almost finished, I only have like 3-4 pages left I think (math has never been my strong point, so don't take my word for it though ;)), and then I'm gonna read through it again to correct any mistakes that I might have made before sending it to MJ+ to upload at the site...
What I didn't tell you though was which article that I was translating...
Miyavi's "X-day confessions"...
Unlike most of the people I talk to these days, I never read it when it first got published, meaning that this is the first time I read it.
Somehow I got pretty sick of the whole circus surrounding Miyavi at that time, and as such I pretty much "shut down" and ignored almost everything surrounding him.
Don't get me wrong, I still love the guy (obviously - wouldn't "waste" my last money on a ticket to his concert this fall if I didn't), but I just got so sick of everything then. And the truth is that I lost interest in listening to both him and everything else that was surrounding him at that time...
So I ignored it.
Now when I have this article to translate, I obviously had to stop ignoring him and instead finally read through the whole thing so that I can translate it in a way that can make him justice, you know...
For every word I write I try to almost climb into Meevers head to get an idea if he would agree to what I am writing or if what he's trying to say gets lost in translation.
Somehow I feel struck by an enormous performance-anxciety also, since this article some how feels extra important to translate right, you know. It's not like writing an article about Yoshiki's new racing-career (don't hurt yourself, btw!!), these are words that comes from the heart... And I keep wondering if I really have the right to "make them my own" as I write them down in swedish...
If that's not enough I also find myself crying rivers every now and then as I read and re-read his words... Good thing I wasn't the one doing the interview, 'cause then we would've had a huge crying-fest...
At the same time there's a tiny hint of jealousy.. As I read what he says about their relationship I start to somewhat doubt that blogentry that I wrote a couple of weeks ago... Maybe soulmates do exist after all? And there's where my jealousy strikes. Don't get me wrong, I don't want Miyavi for myself (I don't know the guy - the closest thing I've gotten to him was when he scared the crap out of me in that monkeysuit last year), but I want what he's describing... Why can't I have that?
Why can't I meet someone who I can look at and think "This is it. This is the person I'm supposed to be with"?
Or maybe my theory was true, and Miyavi is just making things up? Or maybe the theory is just true for some while others are lucky bastards that get what some people spend their whole lives looking for...
Either way...
Miyavi, I'm sorry for "ignoring" you this spring. I'm gonna do my best to translate this in a way that I hope gets your feelings and thoughts through to whoever reads it.
But right now I'm gonna go out for yet another walk in the rain and think for a while...
~the cat
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